


Emolument

by WordHunter (Runic_Purple_Panda)



Series: Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Union of Villainous Minions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9608294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runic_Purple_Panda/pseuds/WordHunter
Summary: Rita didn’t get paid enough to muck about with the new Dark Lord, no matter what Fudge wants.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not all of these fics have the actual word of the day in them, but they are certainly inspired by the word. The Word of the Day on Dictionary.com on [Monday, May 3, 1999](http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/1999/05/03/emolument) was _EMOLUMENT_ – The wages or perquisites arising from office, employment, or labor; gain; compensation.

“Moody!  Thank Merlin!” Dung exclaimed.  “Now you can keep an eye on Potter and I can leave!”

Dung ran over a nearby dustbin before remembering that he was a wizard and apparated away.  Moody rolled his eyes.

“Idiot,” he muttered.  His blue eye swiveled around to look at the house and saw Harry looking out the window.  “Congratulations on making an excellent career choice Potter.”

“Er…thanks?” Harry said, wondering how Moody had found out his plans to be an auror, as it had only been discussed with Fake-Moody, completely unaware that the entire British Wizarding World now thought of him as the new Dark Lord.

“You plan on being any good at it?”

“I hope to be.”

Moody nodded and then put on his invisibility cloak to finish Dung’s shift.  Well, if Ol’ Dumbles wasn’t gonna let him kill anyone, perhaps the Dark Lord Stormageddon would.

* * *

Rita entered Fudge’s office through the window he usually left cracked just for her animagus form.  She transformed back into her human self and looked around.

“Minister?  Are you here?”

“Ahh!  Oh!  Rita!?  Is that you!?” the Minister asked.

“Yes, where are you?” Rita asked.  She still couldn’t see him.

“H-here!  Under the desk!”

Rita poked her head around the side of the desk and saw Fudge there, cowering in the space where his legs would normally go when he sat in his super-comfy chair.

“Sir, what are you doing under there?”

“Haven’t you heard the rumors!?” Fudge exclaimed.  “Potter’s become a Dark Lord!  And he hates me!  I know he does!  He’ll come to kill me!  I know he will!  What’ll I do!?  What’ll I do!?”

“Well,” Rita said, temporarily drawing Fudge out of his panic.  “Do we know _for sure_ that Potter’s become a Dark Lord?  I mean sometimes rumors are just rumors.  Nothing to them apart from the power to ruin peoples reputations when printed.”

“Yes, yes, of course.  It’s just a rumor.  Potter wouldn’t really become a Dark Lord.  And he certainly wouldn’t try to kill me.  Just a rumor.”

“Just a rumor,” Rita agreed.  “I mean, it’s not like the Union of Villainous Minions has contacted him or anything.”

“Right, right,” Fudge said.  “Rita, I need you to-“

“Minister!” Percy yelled, running into the room.  “I’ve just been to the cauldron and you’ll never believe what I heard!”

“Oh, what is it Weatherby?  Can’t you see I’m in a meeting with the top investigative reporter?  We’ve just been discussing these false rumors about Potter becoming a Dark Lord.”

“But he _has_ , Minister!” Percy exclaimed.  “Why else would the Union of Villainous Minions contact him?”

“They-they-they,” Fudge stuttered before letting out a girlish shriek and diving back under his desk.  “Ri-ta-a-a-a-a!  Take care of it!  Use the Prophet.  Use whatever.  Just don’t let him come for me!  Weatherby!  Tell Bones to start recruiting more aurors to protect me.  Give her whatever budget she wants!”

Fudge began sucking his thumb, whimpering in fear.

“Rrrrright,” Rita said.  “I’m gonna just…go then.  Goodbye Minister, Weatherby.”  And then tell the Prophet Editor that they’d be switching their views on Potter – no longer would he be the lying, attention seeking brat, but rather a poor unfortunate soul being threatened by the overreaching Minister.

Yes, that would work perfectly.  After all, the Daily Prophet was part of the Union of Villainous Minions, Press Chapter.  And with the Union backing Potter, they’d have to change the articles soon anyway.  Even if the Union wasn’t backing Potter, Rita didn’t get paid enough to muck about with the new Dark Lord, no matter what Fudge wants.

* * *

**_Ministry Attempts to Assassinate Thirteen Year Old Boy!_ **

**_Are Your Children Safe!?_ **

 

A complimentary copy of the next Daily Prophet had been sent to Harry, who read through the article with some growing concern.

“The Ministry tried to kill me?” Harry said.  “You’d think I’d remember something like that.  Hmm…oh, the dementors.  But that was at the end of Third Year, and there were _way_ more than _two_ measly dementors.  I swear, Rita Skeeter can’t get anything right.”


End file.
